– Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants is back the minute it begins to rains.
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, i have friends in both places.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but i think she enjoyed it.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
When you find yourself on the side oft he majority, you should pause and reflect.
Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Never argue with a fool. Onlooker may not be able to tell the difference.
Of all the things i’ve lost, i miss my mind the most.
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserve it.
To succeed in life, you need two things ignorance and confidence.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
The more you explain it, the more i don’t understand it.
When angry count to four; when very angry swear.
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
I make it a rule never to smoke while i’m sleeping.
There is no distinctly american criminal class – except congress.
Kindness is a language which the dead can hear and the blind can see.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction. After all has to make sense.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because i’ve done it thousands of times.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
When all else fails, write what your heart tells you. You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
It is wiser to find out than to suppose.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
When a man loves cats, i am his friend and comrade without further introduction.
Better a broken promise than none at all.
Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
It is curious- curious tha physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Now and then we had the hope that if we lived and were good. God would permit us to be pirates.
I do not fear death, i had been dead for billions and billions of years before i was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.